mood swings

since i've mentioned before that this blog is just so i can vent shit out. so, i have mood swings very randomly. & i think its okay for anyone to be upset if they want to be. so fuck you if you think otherwise.

& no. just because i'm moody does NOT mean i am pms-ing. i could just be moody because i want to fucking be. again, fuck you if you think otherwise.

i was all happy in the morning but then come afternoon & i got cranky. sometimes, don't you wish you could just stop thinking & getting weird ideas. so there could probably be a solution to it. sleep. or eat. i prefer sleeping. i'd love to sleep all day if i could. but, well, i'd probably have to pack my stuff & leave if i end up doing that. fuck you, i can be as random as i want.

atm all i want to do is shove my face in a huge gooey chocolate cake & sleep. eat & sleep at the same time. now this just depresses me further. omg kmn.

or just cry. crying helps. just bawl your eyes out. so, that's what i'm going to do. let's cry. 

MIA

yo.

so i was missing in action. not that this blog has followers or gets reviews so i cannot say that i was missed.

but i definitely missed typing shit out.

continue reading here for more posts from today.

expectations

"you can do it, you know you can"

"oh come on! you have it in you. we all have high expectations from you"

"not just your parents, even we your teachers have high hopes from you"

OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP.

that's all i can say when i hear those lines. i mean, haven't people heard of the saying "don't expect too much. don't get disappointed"

all everyone keeps saying is do this & don't do that. what if something happens. what if you make a mistake. you cannot afford making mistakes because its you & it has to be perfect because so many people expect shit from you. well, don't.

if something happens, i'll deal with it. if i can't, i',ll ask for help. if i make a mistake, they are MY mistakes. i'll learn from it. nobody is perfect. everyone makes mistakes. that's probably the best way to learn from them.

by holding someone down, not letting them achieve what they want, all you're creating is a monster. much worse than frankenstein. because this monster, is going to be a lying, not-giving-a-shit, rebellious creature. learn to let people free. let them breathe & try to do things on their own. guide them & show them how.

you don't have to force the horse to drink water. it is eventually, the animal's choice. 

demons.

"don't get too close, its dark inside"

that's a line from one of the most amazing songs ever, demons by imagine dragons. i've heard that song on repeat & surprisingly, i'm not sick of it yet. somehow i feel like, that line suits me so well.

we all have some kind of dark past or dark side of us that probably no-one knows & most of us wouldn't want anyone to know about it either. but its there. it exists. try as hard as you like, you know its there. its not just meredith grey who is dark & twisty; we all are.

some of us have done terrible things to regret. some of us cover up horrible things for the most dearest people. some of us just wish for something  bad to happen to people at least once. while most of us just want all of it to end. to turn time back & make things right. THAT is when you know, that you're demons are finally letting go of you.

but do you do it? do any of us? do we stop & make things right? even when we get the chance, are we brave enough to actually use the second chance or give the second chance to someone who we think deserves it or maybe doesn't? no, we don't.

maybe its time for us to break down the protective walls we have around ourselves. be as cool or as smart as you want, we all have a wall around us. it might be the most narrowest covering but its there.

give the song a listen, see if you connect to it. & probably, just break the wall down & live life. because, it is indeed short & everyone deserves a second chance.

gg convert

 gg stands for gossip girl.

& after reading the first line you shut the tab because you felt you had better work to do, mind you, i might just be stalking the shit out of you.

so anyway, there's this friend of mine who recently got hooked on to watching gg & all i can say is YAY:D

it is kind of surprising how i've made just two posts so far & both of them are about this friend. & NO, i do not love you, so get over yourself. jk. iloveyou.

yeah so, she was so hell bent on never ever watching the show. she would constantly mock me for being 'gay' but she finally realised that she needs to watch it too. why? because everyone else already had & she's the only left behind. she's pretty slow. boo you, whore. i know you're reading this.

so my darling, you finally know why everyone is so obsessed with the motherchucker's bassness. (see what i did there?)

oh & you can tell jesus, the bitch is back.

xoxo.

um, hi.

hey.

so, i was at my friend's place the other day & she was reading 'perks of being a wallflower' & i went through a few pages & inspiration suddenly hit me.

so, this is my version of that book. hence, the name. its more like my diary. there are no names, no places, nothing mentioned so that i don't want my friends to know that its me. weird i know but yeah.

so, please feel free to leave your comments & spread word of this awesome blog!